Leachromatic : Pants & Paragraphs Optional

Schemas.

I’ve come to develop quite the schema for relationships however none have come from own, however that’s a post for another. I play things out in my head much like a director. I may not always cast the perfect actor but I do my best to make sure he’s prepared for the role and then I begin writing my script. This is the part in the relationship where the conversation is filled with well placed detail intended to be inconspicuous gems to be discovered later. Usually if the dialogue from the leading role is sub-par I start to see holes in the plot. Depending on how good he is for the main character I adjust. 

My idea of romance involves banter and grand gestures. Most importantly things that seem like they’d be from a film, expensive well crafted plans intended to wooo. But I always run into the minor hiccup of casting those who’s idea of romance includes a good morning call every morning. Now that in itself requires deligence and a phenomenal alarm clock, I expect someone rapping their knuckles against my window at 3 am because I fell asleep without saying good night. Or someone who is just as manipulative as I am and see past it to put me in positions I’ve never wanted but needed to be in.

I expect poems under pillow but only the one closest to the door because I always put my hand under my pillow when I sleep on that side of the bed. Or drives to the middle of no where at midnight with coconut cake, sparkling cider and my favorite candy bar just so we can watch the stars (which fails because I soon learn dark open spaces creep me out). Worse part is I’ll have these mini moments of grand gestures planned to have a certain response and if that’s not met I’m left unsatisfied. I’ve woven the ideal dates only to realize I don’t date enough. 

I’ve had glimpse into those moments. Glances into the wonderous world that is spontaneity. I’ve managed to fill in the gaps of my mental collage with fantasies/plans. However when I do end up with that one individual that can sweep me off my feet with a mop. Who can convince me of anything with a phrase. Who can turn character flaws to requirements. That one guy who top me, I’ll date him. I’m gonna date him hard. And that’s the only thing I can say for that. 

But this is not a type. This is what I’ve manage to pull from my database of Romantic Comedies. I don’t really have a type because the guys I have dated seriously end up on opposites sides of the world categorically.

Pretty conclusive I suppose.

ledasoul:

I hate how I always think that I can love people into becoming who they could be. You cannot scream at a flower and expect it to grow. You can’t whisper death over weeds. If something wants to live, it will. And if it wants to die, it will do so — fiercely.

sunra:

We are torn between nostalgia for the familiar and an urge for the foreign and strange. As often as not, we are homesick most for the places we have never known. — Carson McCullers via likealilikoi

(Source: youngfolksociety)

*insert wit here*: Heartbreak is Gravity.

evangelworldorder:

People often compare being in love to taking flight, but that’s not exactly the case is it? Yeah you’re kind of up there, but love has it’s ups and downs. I wouldn’t compare it to flying because sometimes it brings you low…really low. And sometimes, those are the points when you’re really deep in…

Life Is Fragile.

ktoferus:

Sometimes i forget that i have a life outside of college. I forget that i have to come home and fit right back in the mold of the person i used to be, as if i hadn’t changed at all. But maybe that’s the good part about being home, everything stays the same.

Update

Since my last substantial post

• I’ve been in an odd place emotionally. I’m sort of attached to alot of people/things I’m not invested in. Only thing I care about or want to do is go to the lab, play video games, eat and sleep. Everything outside of that has become a chore.
• I feel trapped socially. I found a route to get out but ended up ignoring in the name of my academic career.
• I’ll be drowning myself in work this Fall
• This summer I’m doing the same.
• My family relationships aint all that perfect either
• I still loathe funerals but I may have to get over my aversion soon.
• I’m completely content academically, things could be better but as far as my career goes my life is falling into place perfectly.
• Common sense isn’t common.
• People who don’t follow “Keep It Simple Stupid” infuriate me.
• Multiple examples of my theory “Don’t give insecure people power”
• I’ve had a few lapses in my stress control and came to conclude that the “Separate, Assess, Correct” route is and always we be best.
• I’m ready to be out of here. 
• I need to get back to my hobbies and for every 5 people in my life who don’t belong, new hobby.
• Competing really is my niche. I’m getting back to that.
• I need that distance. Getting up and moving is my way of staying sane. Not being able to do that SUCKS.
• Life is fragile.

soletherapy:

This blog may be coming to an end.

I really dont have anything to write about anymore and I really dislike faux arguing with the “intelligent” people on here.

I havent decided whether I’ll start over or not.

Sometimes thing run their course and you must disband it or start anew.